authentic-connection – Beyond the Breath Online Magazine

As I sat down to write a different blogpost, I found myself frequently circling back to the theme of vulnerability. Curious about its nuances, I decided to explore synonyms for this and was surprised to find that vulnerability had only negative connotations. These included: In danger, attackable, defenseless, unsafe, exposed, wide open, helpless, at risk.

Whilst it’s undeniable that vulnerability can entail some of these elements, vulnerability also looks like strength, bravery, resilience. It looks like diving into the shadow sides of ourselves, regardless of fear or apprehension of what we might find. It looks like summoning courage and boldness.
The times I have admired someone the most, is when they have put their rawest, most vulnerable parts of themselves out there. I’ve found that my deepest and most meaningful connections or conversations with others have often stemmed from moments of shared vulnerability, leaving me feeling lighter and grateful for the exchange.

A time that I felt very vulnerable was when I decided to start going to grief support groups. Sharing how I felt – which was something I never used to do – with total strangers felt alien and scary and like the most horribly vulnerable thing in the whole world, but I was met with smiles, kindness, and people telling me they had experienced similar thoughts/feelings. This big step into vulnerability allowed me to face grief more face-on in my own life and showed me that, as scary as it is, I am able to open up and talk about what was going on for me.

Embarking on my journey to become a breathwork facilitator also stirred up feelings of vulnerability within me. It’s a declaration of my passion and commitment to something I deeply love, something I want to share with the world. Yet, in doing so, I’m laying myself bare to the possibility of criticism or rejection. It’s a daunting prospect, opening myself up to the potential for people to dismiss or disapprove of what I’m doing. But amidst the apprehension, there was always an undeniable excitement within me. I was stepping into a realm where others will resonate with and embrace my offerings, where they may enjoy attending my sessions and find value in what I have to offer. The prospect of connecting with like-minded souls, of witnessing transformations, is equally exciting as it is nerve-wracking.

So yes, diving into this new chapter of my life is a rollercoaster of emotions—exciting, nerve-wracking, and everything in between. But ultimately, it’s a leap of faith fueled by passion and a desire to share something meaningful with others. And for that, I’m ready to embrace the journey, uncertainties and all.

The times I have been witness to someone being vulnerable, I have seen it met with love, kindness, compassion, understanding, and often times it allows others to feel able to open up and share too. Of course, I am very privileged to have access to wonderful supportive people and spaces. I understand that this is not the case for everyone. There is a time and a place for vulnerability.

As a breathwork facilitator, vulnerability represents something a little bit different. Holding space for others means that you do need to be strong, regulated, and have capacity to hold other people. This is not our time for sharing, it is our time to hold space, and to listen. A great piece of advice I heard was that as facilitators we must be teaching from our scars not our wounds. Having that emotional distance between yourself and what you’re discussing. As the facilitator, the breathwork circle is not your place to offload and share, but to be there to hold the space for others.

Holding space for others requires strength, yes, but it also demands emotional resilience and a mindful approach. There’s a delicate balance between offering support and maintaining boundaries. As facilitators, we’re tasked with guiding others on their journey. It’s about creating a safe space for exploration and growth, without overshadowing the experiences of others.

So, here’s to embracing vulnerability—both as individuals and as facilitators. It can be messy, it can be uncomfortable, but the benefits can be huge. After all, it’s through vulnerability that we truly connect, heal, and thrive.

Lottie Hall. Breathwork with Lottie.

To find out more about Lottie, take a look at her profile in Practitioners Corner

Being in Relationship with your Breath.

One the greatest privileges I have as a Breathing Space Teacher is witnessing the transformation that happens when trainees develop their own relationship with their breath. There is a deep intimacy that expands and spills out into everyday life as the relationship evolves, but it always begins within. It truly is an inside job.

I’m wondering, did you notice how reading this first paragraph made you feel, or what thoughts came up for you, or what happened within your body?

For some of you this deep intimacy with yourself might feel scary, for some it might feel exciting, for some of you it might feel neutral – or maybe natural might be a better description. Whatever you felt, the invitation is not to judge but just to notice. I remember many years ago when I first heard of Shiatsu, a form of body work, the practitioner told me that it can induce emotional responses. I was petrified! It took me months to pluck up the courage to book an appointment, my emotions were so tied up and knotted, I did not want to open that box.

It makes me smile now to remember how our life force often intervenes and you receive what you need. Although I had peaked inside the box many times over the intervening years, the first time I did breathwork I sobbed for the whole session. The box was well and truly open.

To be fair, I had been working in a very cerebral/coaching/counselling kind of way with family grief and loss, so I did need an outlet, indeed as I began my own relationship with the breath, I experienced a whole array of emotions and body talk that has transformed my inner world into a kaleidoscope of colours.

Now, breath is a way of life for me. At a recent family gathering, when anxiety around being with so many people was rising, I paused, and I breathed in a conscious, rhythmic manner for just 1 minute and my whole body, mind and soul relaxed as I found my centre point again. In just 1 minute! It was a living example of how integral my relationship with the breath is in my life, and how impactful it is on my life experience.

As with all relationships, there is ebb and flow, and there is an ongoing commitment required to staying in relationship with the breath. We are just about to start a new group Breathwork Facilitator Training, which I’ll co-teach alongside the Hybrid version of the Breathing Space facilitator training with in-person workshops in York … I digress … As a commitment to myself, and to the trainees who trust me with their journey, and most importantly to the breath, I’m doing the training programme again myself.

One of the first requirements is to write a blog – Why Breathwork, what brought you here? I’m adapting the question slightly to why breathwork, what keeps you here?

The answer is simple – Connection is an inside job.

About the Author – Sharyn-With-A-Why

To find out more about Sharyn, take a look at her profile in Practitioners Corner