For centuries, women and those embodying the feminine have been told we are either “too much” or “not enough.” This feeling is more than just an emotional experience – it’s a deeply rooted societal wound, passed down through generations, woven into the fabric of our cultures, and etched into our hearts. We’ve been told to shrink, to suppress, and to conform, all while striving for an impossible ideal that seems forever out of reach.
But the truth is: we were never “too much” and we were always enough.
The Historical Roots of “Too Much” and “Not Enough”
The struggle with these labels is nothing new. Historically, women have been defined by strict societal roles, where any deviation from the norm was met with disapproval or outright rejection. In the Victorian era, women were expected to be quiet, demure, and delicate. Any display of emotion, assertiveness, or strength was labelled as “hysteria,” a term derived from the Greek word hysteria, meaning uterus. This association of women’s emotions with irrationality further reinforced the idea that femininity was something to be controlled and subdued.
In ancient Greece, Aristotle argued that women were inherently inferior to men because of their emotional and irrational nature. Men were seen as the logical, stable force in society, while women’s sensitivity was viewed as a threat to order. This idea persisted for centuries, manifesting in various cultural and religious doctrines, which have shaped the way femininity is still perceived today.
Even as women gained more rights and freedoms over the years, the expectation to be everything at once – to be nurturing but not overly emotional, successful but not too ambitious, independent but still dependent – remained. We were either “too much” – too sensitive, too emotional, too loud – or “not enough” – not strong enough, not successful enough, not capable enough.
The impact of this constant push and pull is profound. Psychologically, it creates a pervasive sense of inadequacy that can lead to perfectionism, anxiety, and burnout. Many women, especially those who are highly sensitive or embody the feminine, internalise the belief that they are either taking up too much space or not living up to impossible expectations.
As Brene Brown so powerfully says, “You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” This need to hustle for worthiness – to constantly prove that we are enough – is something many of us can relate to. It’s a constant performance, where we sacrifice our true selves for external validation. And yet, no matter how much we give or how hard we try, there’s always the lingering fear that we will never be enough.
The statistics reflect this emotional burden. According to the World Health Organization, women are more likely to experience anxiety and depression than men. This is no surprise when you consider the societal pressures to be everything to everyone while still maintaining a certain image. The pressure to be the “perfect” woman, mother, friend, or professional is overwhelming and often leads to chronic stress, fatigue, and a sense of failure.
But here’s the truth: our emotions, our sensitivity, our softness—these are not weaknesses. These are our greatest strengths. What society has long told us to hide or diminish is precisely what makes us powerful. Sensitivity is a superpower, and our emotional depth is a gift that allows us to connect with others on a profound level.
As Elaine Aron, the pioneering researcher of Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), has shown, sensitivity allows for greater empathy, creativity, and intuition. Yet, in a world that prizes productivity and resilience above all else, these qualities are often undervalued. The narrative that sensitivity equals weakness is a lie we’ve been told to keep us from standing fully in our power.
In her groundbreaking book Untamed, Glennon Doyle writes, “The truest, most beautiful life never promises to be an easy one. We need to let go of the expectations of society and embrace the beauty of our true selves.” This is the call to undo the narrative that tells us we are too much. It’s time to reclaim our emotional depth, our intuitive knowing, and our sensitivity as the incredible strengths they are.
Part of reclaiming our “too much” is recognising the cyclical nature of the feminine. Women, and those who embody the feminine, are not linear beings. We move in cycles, just like the moon and the seasons. Yet, society has pushed us into a masculine, linear model of constant productivity, leaving us disconnected from our natural rhythms and exhausted from the effort.
This is where we can begin the work of undoing the narrative. By reconnecting with our natural selves and embracing the ebb and flow of our emotions, we can dismantle the belief that we have to constantly hustle or prove our worth.
Breathwork, mindfulness, and slowing down are powerful tools in this process. By returning to our breath and tuning into our bodies, we can create space to reconnect with who we truly are – not who society tells us we should be. In these moments of stillness, we can hear the quiet voice inside that says, “You are enough.”
Undoing the narrative of “too much” and “not enough” requires both personal and collective work. It means challenging the voices in our heads that tell us to shrink ourselves or hustle for approval. It means creating space for our sensitivity and emotions, even when the world tells us they are inconvenient or unproductive.
And it means standing together in solidarity with other women, knowing that our strength lies in our connection to one another and our willingness to embrace the fullness of who we are. As Simone de Beauvoir said, “One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.” This journey of becoming is about reclaiming our wholeness—our sensitivity, our intuition, our strength, and our softness.
The world needs the fullness of our feminine power. Our “too much” is exactly what is required to heal a world that has become disconnected from empathy, intuition, and the natural cycles of life. By stepping into our power and embracing our sensitivity, we not only heal ourselves but also begin to heal the world around us.
We were never “too much,” and we were always enough. The time has come to believe it.
Naturally Lottie – Your HSP Hype Girl
To find out more about Lottie, take a look at her profile in Practitioners Corner
