mental-health – Beyond the Breath Online Magazine

Too Much and Not Enough: Reclaiming Our Feminine Power

25/11/2024 1 Comment

For centuries, women and those embodying the feminine have been told we are either “too much” or “not enough.” This feeling is more than just an emotional experience – it’s a deeply rooted societal wound, passed down through generations, woven into the fabric of our cultures, and etched into our hearts. We’ve been told to shrink, to suppress, and to conform, all while striving for an impossible ideal that seems forever out of reach.

But the truth is: we were never “too much” and we were always enough.

The Historical Roots of “Too Much” and “Not Enough”
The struggle with these labels is nothing new. Historically, women have been defined by strict societal roles, where any deviation from the norm was met with disapproval or outright rejection. In the Victorian era, women were expected to be quiet, demure, and delicate. Any display of emotion, assertiveness, or strength was labelled as “hysteria,” a term derived from the Greek word hysteria, meaning uterus. This association of women’s emotions with irrationality further reinforced the idea that femininity was something to be controlled and subdued.

In ancient Greece, Aristotle argued that women were inherently inferior to men because of their emotional and irrational nature. Men were seen as the logical, stable force in society, while women’s sensitivity was viewed as a threat to order. This idea persisted for centuries, manifesting in various cultural and religious doctrines, which have shaped the way femininity is still perceived today.

Even as women gained more rights and freedoms over the years, the expectation to be everything at once – to be nurturing but not overly emotional, successful but not too ambitious, independent but still dependent – remained. We were either “too much” – too sensitive, too emotional, too loud – or “not enough” – not strong enough, not successful enough, not capable enough.

The impact of this constant push and pull is profound. Psychologically, it creates a pervasive sense of inadequacy that can lead to perfectionism, anxiety, and burnout. Many women, especially those who are highly sensitive or embody the feminine, internalise the belief that they are either taking up too much space or not living up to impossible expectations.

As Brene Brown so powerfully says, “You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” This need to hustle for worthiness – to constantly prove that we are enough – is something many of us can relate to. It’s a constant performance, where we sacrifice our true selves for external validation. And yet, no matter how much we give or how hard we try, there’s always the lingering fear that we will never be enough.

The statistics reflect this emotional burden. According to the World Health Organization, women are more likely to experience anxiety and depression than men. This is no surprise when you consider the societal pressures to be everything to everyone while still maintaining a certain image. The pressure to be the “perfect” woman, mother, friend, or professional is overwhelming and often leads to chronic stress, fatigue, and a sense of failure.

But here’s the truth: our emotions, our sensitivity, our softness—these are not weaknesses. These are our greatest strengths. What society has long told us to hide or diminish is precisely what makes us powerful. Sensitivity is a superpower, and our emotional depth is a gift that allows us to connect with others on a profound level.

As Elaine Aron, the pioneering researcher of Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), has shown, sensitivity allows for greater empathy, creativity, and intuition. Yet, in a world that prizes productivity and resilience above all else, these qualities are often undervalued. The narrative that sensitivity equals weakness is a lie we’ve been told to keep us from standing fully in our power.

In her groundbreaking book Untamed, Glennon Doyle writes, “The truest, most beautiful life never promises to be an easy one. We need to let go of the expectations of society and embrace the beauty of our true selves.” This is the call to undo the narrative that tells us we are too much. It’s time to reclaim our emotional depth, our intuitive knowing, and our sensitivity as the incredible strengths they are.

Part of reclaiming our “too much” is recognising the cyclical nature of the feminine. Women, and those who embody the feminine, are not linear beings. We move in cycles, just like the moon and the seasons. Yet, society has pushed us into a masculine, linear model of constant productivity, leaving us disconnected from our natural rhythms and exhausted from the effort.

This is where we can begin the work of undoing the narrative. By reconnecting with our natural selves and embracing the ebb and flow of our emotions, we can dismantle the belief that we have to constantly hustle or prove our worth.

Breathwork, mindfulness, and slowing down are powerful tools in this process. By returning to our breath and tuning into our bodies, we can create space to reconnect with who we truly are – not who society tells us we should be. In these moments of stillness, we can hear the quiet voice inside that says, “You are enough.”

Undoing the narrative of “too much” and “not enough” requires both personal and collective work. It means challenging the voices in our heads that tell us to shrink ourselves or hustle for approval. It means creating space for our sensitivity and emotions, even when the world tells us they are inconvenient or unproductive.

And it means standing together in solidarity with other women, knowing that our strength lies in our connection to one another and our willingness to embrace the fullness of who we are. As Simone de Beauvoir said, “One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.” This journey of becoming is about reclaiming our wholeness—our sensitivity, our intuition, our strength, and our softness.

The world needs the fullness of our feminine power. Our “too much” is exactly what is required to heal a world that has become disconnected from empathy, intuition, and the natural cycles of life. By stepping into our power and embracing our sensitivity, we not only heal ourselves but also begin to heal the world around us.

We were never “too much,” and we were always enough. The time has come to believe it.

Naturally Lottie – Your HSP Hype Girl

To find out more about Lottie, take a look at her profile in Practitioners Corner

In Breath and the Body

Breathing for Females – Knowledge is Power

25/11/2024 No Comments

Get the most from your body by understanding the highs and lows of your hormone cycle. On the first day of your period, start recording your thoughts, feelings, behaviours and bodily changes. Track your cycle to understand yourself better, know when to rest and where you are more likely to feel ready to reach for some goals.

Do you feel unable to complete certain tasks at different times of your cycle?
Are you taken over by feelings and are not sure how best to cope with them?
Do you become irritable, lack focus and have difficulty sleeping?
Read on to find out why and what you can do about it.

There is a pattern to hormone fluctuation in each cycle, however every individual will release and metabolise different amounts, meaning variation between individual’s sensitivity to the effects of each hormone. Factors such as sleep, diet and lifestyle will also affect the release and effect of hormones in individuals. Understanding and learning better breathing techniques can improve many systems of the body and help to combat some of the symptoms associated with ‘hormone hangovers’, PMS and even peri-meno-pause and menopause symptoms.

Oestrogen is responsible for thickening the lining of the uterus in preparation for ovulation. Vaginal discharge can be watery and stretchy. Oestrogen supports brain, heart and lung health by maintaining good blood flow, keeping serotonin, endorphin and cholesterol levels regular. It assists the hypothalamus in regulating body temperature and supports the body in muscle mass and recovery. It also helps to balance bacteria in the gut.

Oestrogen may make you feel more confident and capable, encouraging your ‘inner cheerleader’ to come out and take some risks or reach for some goals.

When oestrogen levels are low this could be associated with feelings of clumsiness, lack of motivation, as well as dysregulated mood and body temperature.

Progesterone is responsible for preparing the lining of the uterus to hold and grow a fertilised egg. Vaginal discharge can be more white and sticky. When an egg is not fertilised, progesterone decreases, and the lining breaks away and sheds (bleed). Progesterone supports thyroid function and increases metabolic rate which can increase heart and breathing rate, appetite and body temperature. It can also increase oil production in skin

Progesterone may make you feel calm and relaxed as it lowers blood pressure. It also has a sleep promoting effect.

When progesterone levels are low you may feel a little more anxious, low mood and decreased tolerance to pain and perception of breathlessness.

Period phase – from day 1 of the bleed when both hormones are low, may lead to feelings of fatigue, pain, low motivation and mood. It is important during this phase to keep some gentle movement throughout the body to assist with pain and low mood.

Follicular phase – during this part of the cycle we may feel more emotionally resilient and capable of more high intensity exercise.

Luteal phase – higher levels of both hormones may be responsible for higher stress responses and higher breathing and heart rates.

Pre-menstrual phase – as hormone levels start to decline, ‘hormone hangover’ symptoms may creep in such as bloating, anxiety, lack of concentration, tiredness.

The best way to understand how hormones affect you and your body, is to track your cycle. This will help understand your needs throughout the peri and menopause years too.

How can breathing help with symptoms of hormone changes?

Nasal breathe. Breathing through the nose means you are filtering the air before it enters your body, utilising the body’s natural line of defence against toxins and allergens. Nasal breathing engages the diaphragm more fully, utilising the full range of breathing mechanics. Breathing through the nose creates some resistance and reminds us to breathe less.

Breathe light – breathing less increases carbon dioxide in the body. CO2 is essential in releasing oxygen from the blood to be transported to other cells in need, optimising oxygen delivery around the body.

Breathe slow – reducing the number of breaths per minute improves heart rate variability (HRV) and our body’s stress responses. Breathing slowly improves gas exchange in the lungs. Breathe in for 4 seconds and exhale for 6 seconds.

Breathe deep – breathing low into your lungs is what is meant by taking a deep breath, not necessarily a big, oversized breath. Breathing low into the body, filling the lungs from the bottom up. You should feel the bottom ribs move out to the side.

20 minutes of light, slow and deep breathing per day can bring you;

a calmer mind more resilient stress levels
deeper sleep better focus
higher CO2 tolerance better oxygen delivery to cells, muscles and organs
Improved circulation improved digestion
Decreased pain perception better vagal tone
Reduced breathlessness less back and neck pain/tension

Get in touch to understand more about how your breathing can affect your overall health. Get 121
in-person or online guidance on how to improve your familiar but possibly dysfunctional breathing patterns. Learn how to ‘Breathe A-Gain with Dot’…

Sources of information:
Oxygen Advantage.com
Jennis | Changing the world of women’s hormonal health.com
The Female Body Bible, 2023
https://www.redschool.net/

Breathe A-Gain with Dot

To find out more about Dot, take a look at her profile in Practitioners Corner

In Breathwork Reflections

Who the heck is this?

23/11/2024 No Comments

Hey! Sophie here. I’m an almost 30 year old red-headed Yorkshire lass just starting my journey with Breathing Space to become the best breathwork facilitator Yorkshire ever saw.

This belief in myself is not something I’m hugely familiar with – it has grown in the last few years and particularly since May this year when I experienced by first Conscious Connected Breathwork class whilst on a ‘wellness’ retreat in Greece (I use the term lightly as the trip was run by regular party goers who were aiming for chill vibes. They did alright to be fair).

But who is she REALLY?
Ya gal has been through some shit. The shit started when my ex died in 2020. This was bruuuutal I can tell you. Him dying changed my perspective on literally everything in my life. I was pissed at couples walking down the street holding hands. I was reluctant to pay off my credit card because what was the point? I might die tomorrow shrugs nonchalantly (Obvs I did pay my credit card because ya gal has anxieties that override everything else)!

BUT

Whilst navigating the classic stages of grief, I realised I was actually quite liking the person I was becoming. Pre-trauma Sophie was proper square. She was a rule follower to a T and her life was lacking fun because of this. I had been a people pleaser and would prioritise everyone else’s emotional well-being waheeeey before my own. Shortly into this grief journey, I started to become more selfish but in the best way. Being selfish isn’t a bad thing. Being selfish means introducing boundaries and honouring your own emotions and wellbeing before anyone else’s. I have feelings too dammit, and they’re absolutely valid.

Since 2020 I have also lost both my Dad and my Cousin. Again, this was horrific to go through. Sadly, feeling quite experienced in the realm of grief by this point, I was able to draw on the journey I’d already navigated and seemed to handle these things fairly well (in the grand scheme of things). Don’t get me wrong, I felt incredibly guilty for feeling OK again much sooner!

My dry sense of humour has always been a masking tool I’ve drawn upon. My ability to joke about ~dark~ stuff is one of my favourite qualities. However, in the last couple of years my spiritual side has ventured into sight and I am exploring all kinds of weird and wonderful woo woo worlds (top marks for alliteration here). Because of this, the dark humour no longer served me QUITE as well. I was being forced to confront and FEEL things.

I saw a post today about the term ‘lifequake’. “A significant and unexpected shift in the trajectory of your life that initially feels devastating but has the beneficial outcome of catalyzing personal growth, transformation and rebirth.” Not sure who to credit for this but all hail this being! Thank you to Martin, Jaygo and Dad for being my lifequakes (although, given the choice, would’ve preferred you not to have been)!

Why breathwork?
Having worked in the NHS for 7 years, I got myself into a bit of a mental pickle. I know it isn’t something I want to do forever but what the Dickens could I do instead?! Cue the aforementioned wholesome trip to Greece in May 2024. We had a list of add-ons to choose from beforehand with breathwork being one of them. I didn’t give it much thought, thinking it sounded a bit lame or me. Obviously I got FOMO from everyone talking about the AMAZING experiences they’d had.

Thankfully, more sessions were put on so I signed up. Boooooyyyy am I grateful for that! It was a conscious connected breathwork session. It was hard. It was uncomfortable. It was weird. I was feeling a bit on edge anyway so it wasn’t much of a surprise when I started crying. I wasn’t quite ready for the full on emotional release that followed, though. We breathed with open mouths into the belly, chest, head, on cycle for about 20 minutes. The facilitator touched my abdomen and it was like she was literally pushing tears out of my face. Incredible. Suddenly, I realised what I had to do. I NEEDED to become a breathwork facilitator. So here I am – one seminar into the Breathing Space Breathwork Facilitator Programme, going for gold.

What’s the plan?
So what’s next? Well, I’m going to put my absolute all into the course. I’m going to learn everything I can and experience everything I can to make me the absolute best facilitator I can be. I hope to help people through their lifequakes so that they too might go for gold.

Sophie x

Sophie | @sanguine.soph

To find out more about Sophie, take a look at her profile in Practitioners Corner

In Breathwork Reflections

Breathwork: A Journey from Control to Acceptance

19/11/2024 No Comments

Breathwork changed my life in ways I couldn’t have anticipated. For most of my life, I was a chronic overthinker, always on alert, always afraid that happiness was something fleeting, a thing that would eventually slip through my fingers. Even in moments of joy, I was braced for it to end, and in every other moment, I fought to control the world around me. From school struggles to navigating
motherhood, I felt I had to manage every little thing, and that meant controlling not only myself but everyone else around me. It was exhausting.

Raising teens was the real turning point. My children, who I loved fiercely, were not interested in living life on my terms. They were on their own journeys, with their own dreams, fears, and choices. And my efforts to control them were met with resistance and frustration—from them and, eventually, from me too. This
was the wake-up call I needed, and it became painfully clear that I couldn’t go on this way. I was drained, burnt out, and anxious. I needed something different, but I didn’t know what that was yet.

Like so many, I first turned to meditation, but it didn’t connect with me in a way that felt sustainable or transformative. Then, I found the breath.

I started with the basics—simple breathing techniques I could incorporate into my day. These techniques were my first lessons in presence and control, a way to connect with myself in a way that I hadn’t before. Bit by bit, I started to feel different, as though I was rediscovering something about myself that had long
been buried. Slowly, my relationship with control began to shift, and it was only the beginning.

Then I discovered conscious connected breathing, and my world changed again. This practice took me deeper, helping me release layers of tension and emotion that I didn’t even realize I was holding. For the first time, I began to accept myself, not as someone trying to become or achieve something different but
simply as myself. Breath by breath, I found a sense of peace, and for the first time, I could sit with who I was without judgment or expectation.

The most transformative lesson of all was acceptance. I began to let go of old wounds and beliefs I had clung to for years. I found myself re-examining experiences I had long carried as heavy burdens, questioning the meanings I had attached to them. I was rewriting the emotions and perspectives that shaped my past. Little by little, I could see these experiences as steps on the journey rather than things I had to battle or overcome.

And here I am, still evolving but finally feeling at home in my skin. The journey isn’t about becoming someone new; it’s about meeting myself as I am, with all my imperfections, strengths, and weaknesses.
Breathwork has changed my relationships with others as well. As a mother, I’ve become more accepting, more open, less controlling. I see my children for who they are, and I trust them on their paths. As a teacher, I now focus on what matters most. Connection—real, honest connection—is what truly makes an impact. In my classroom and at home, I’m more compassionate, less self-critical, and more able to embrace both myself and others without judgment.

Learning to breathe was my first step to learning to live. It’s a journey of release, acceptance, and growth. And if I can offer one insight from my experience, it would be this: the answers we seek are often not in striving but in simply being—being with ourselves, our breaths, our truths.

Marie Doherty – Empowering Women to Breathe, Thrive, and Shine.

To find out more about Marie, take a look at her profile in Practitioners Corner

In Breathwork Reflections

On trusting the breath and letting go of outcomes

18/11/2024 No Comments

I don’t know about you but I have sometimes lost my equilibrium as I stressed over issues I cannot control in my life, or imagined negative future events. On those days I need conscious connected breathwork more than ever. It’s also on those days that I resist this work more than ever.

Before discovering breathwork, I would sit in my familiar discomfort and gradually lose more and more stability. The consequences of not dealing with my emotions would make me edgy and unsatisfied with life, and then I would wonder ‘how did I get here’?

Now I know better. I find a comfortable place to sit or lie down and I start breathing. No pauses at the top, no pauses at the bottom. The first few minutes are really uncomfortable. As I move through the layers of my mental defenses, I feel as if I am ripping through myself. My mind does not want to give up control and I want to quit. I want my familiar dark. But I push and I embrace the uncertainty of letting go of my mind. It feels risky, but I am brave. Eventually, I surrender to my body and there is no more fragmentation. I become an ocean of waves rising and collapsing into myself.

My mind and body are one, sweet consciousness experiencing itself. What the breath brings I never know until it happens. Sometimes I desire a release but it doesn’t come. Sometimes I set an intention to bring clarity or resolution to a problem, but the breath delivers clarity on something else, unrelated to what I was fussing about. When I finish, the session I am strangely whole and relieved even though my wish for a specific outcome didn’t come to be. The darkness has dissolved. The confusion is gone.

I have come to understand that sometimes in order to resolve one thing, you first have to grasp another truth, which in turn resolves the one you were concerned with. Truth unveils in layers and in a kind of order sometimes. It’s not linear and it’s not black or white. I have learned to let go of outcomes and just focus and trust the breath to illuminate what needs to be revealed. The breath knows better. There is safety in this trust.

The breath is the light, not just on your truth, but on truth itself.

Jasmina

To find out more about Jasmina take a look at her profile in Practitioners Corner

In Techniques & Practices

4-7-8 Breathing: A Simple Tool for Calm and Balance

17/11/2024 No Comments

Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or struggling to fall asleep? The 4-7-8 breathing technique is a simple, accessible tool you can use anytime to regain calm and balance. This practice involves a focused pattern of breathing that soothes the nervous system, making it particularly helpful for managing anxiety, improving sleep, and easing nausea or dizziness.

What is 4-7-8 Breathing?

4-7-8 breathing is a rhythmic technique where you:

1. Inhale through your nose for **4 seconds**.
2. Hold your breath for **7 seconds**.
3. Exhale slowly and fully through your mouth for **8 seconds**.

Developed by Dr. Andrew Weil and inspired by ancient pranayama practices, this method gently encourages your body to switch from a state of stress (fight-or-flight) to relaxation (rest-and-digest).

Why It Works

This technique engages the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for helping the body relax. By slowing down your breathing, you send calming signals to your brain, counteracting the physical and mental symptoms of stress.

Regular practice of 4-7-8 breathing can help to:

– Reduce anxiety and promote emotional balance.
– Support better sleep by calming racing thoughts.
– Ease nausea and dizziness, particularly helpful for those experiencing hormonal shifts.
– Improve focus and clarity during stressful situations.

How to Practice

Here’s a quick guide to practicing 4-7-8 breathing:

1. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.
2. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly (optional) to connect with your breath.
3. Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 counts
4. Hold your breath for 7 counts
5. Exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 counts (breathing through pursed lips helps)
6. Repeat for 2-4 cycles, or as long as feels good.

Pro Tip: If you’re new to this practice, you may feel lightheaded at first so consider doing this practice sat down initially.

Start with fewer cycles and gradually build up as your body adjusts (but you might not need to do many)

Who Can Benefit and When to Use

This technique is a versatile tool for anyone looking to manage stress and improve their well-being.

It’s particularly helpful:

– During moments of anxiety or overwhelm.
– As a night time ritual to support sleep.
– In response to physical symptoms like nausea or dizziness.

However, individuals who are pregnant, have unmanaged high or low blood pressure, or certain respiratory or cardiovascular conditions should consult a healthcare provider before practicing.

Why It’s Helpful During Menopause

For those navigating menopause, 4-7-8 breathing can be a powerful ally. Many experience anxiety, sleep disturbances, and physical discomfort such as dizziness or nausea during this transition.

Incorporating this practice into daily life provides a simple, natural way to find relief and regain a sense of control.

On a Personal Note

Learning this technique as an apprentice facilitator, it was my least favourite to guide (I’m not the best at counting). However, during a particularly sleepless night, I surrendered and found it highly effective as it had me drifting off within a couple of breaths.

I’ve also been surprised to see how effective this has been for a good few of my menopause clients struggling with vertigo, nausea and the 3am wake ups so I now guide this regularly (I’m still working on the counting).

Final Thoughts

The beauty of 4-7-8 breathing lies in its simplicity and effectiveness. It requires no special equipment, can be done discreetly in almost any situation, and brings rapid results when practiced consistently.

Whether you’re seeking calm during a hectic workday or trying to unwind before bed, this technique is a reliable way to create space for relaxation and balance.

If you’re ready to experience the benefits of 4-7-8 breathing, check out the accompanying video guide, where I walk you through the technique step by step!

Carly Killen – Discover yourself – one breath at a time

To find out more about Carly, take a look at her profile in Practitioners Corner

In Breath and the Body

FOOD AS A METAPHOR FOR… LIFE?

12/11/2024 No Comments

I never had a good relationship with my body. Growing up in Lithuania in the 90s and weighing 58kg in my teenage years, I was considered FAT by my peers. Girly magazines were overflowing with tips about dieting, staying beautiful and feminine and impressing the boys, and ideas about diversity, individuality and authenticity were not as widely discussed. Therefore I have always tried to be thinner, dieted and deprived myself since I was 13 and, of course, never felt good enough or beautiful; my environment was simply not designed for it..

The topic of weight is, of course, very closely tied with the themes of food and eating. Thinking back to my childhood and teenage years, certain foods and ways of eating come to mind. It wasn’t an affluent time so one of the most important concerns my parents must have faced was the cost of everything. However, I remember my mother cooking soup, rice and meat dishes, fish, salads, as well as buying some processed foods, such as frankfurters, fish fingers and dumplings. Another category that comes to mind was my grandmother’s and older aunts’ food. They each had signature mash, meatballs, buns, biscuits or other delicacies that were always abundantly present during family gatherings. My summers were often spent at our relatives’ home in a village where they used to make (and still do to this very day, even though they are in their 80s!) almost all of their food themselves, starting with fruit and veg, preserves, dairy, all the way to raising and slaughtering their own chickens, geese, cattle and pigs. My grandparents’ generation grew up during the time of war and its aftermath where everything, including food, was scarce, therefore their coping mechanism later in life was often to over-do, their subconscious forever preparing for survival. The associations that come to me while thinking about the foods of my childhood are “fatty”, “abundant” or even “overload”.

One thing I find unusual is that in all this abundance and process of making, I have learned very little about cooking or preserving. Sure, I was taught how to make pancakes and cottage cheese balls but that was about it.. I never questioned this, it never really entered my mind but now, while on my healing journey and thinking back to my family relationships, I find this fact rather odd. As a bigger picture, it feels like life skills haven’t been transferred into the next generation. This, in turn, poses a question what else hasn’t been transferred. And an answer to that comes to me as Stories. I have so few stories from my parents’, grandparents’ and other relatives’ lives. Why?

While pondering these questions, my mother comes to mind most readily. She was adopted as a baby and has never known her real family. Furthermore, her relationship with the adoptive family has crumbled at some point in life, so much so that the ties were severed and she wasn’t informed of her adoptive mother’s death, invited to her funeral or considered for the inheritance. Coming from this background, my mother must have felt like she doesn’t belong. Food and belonging, it seems to me, are somehow tied; “soul food”, “food for thought” are some phrases that convey that connection.

From my perspective, there are two ways a person can deal with the feeling and trauma of not belonging; by shutting down and controlling, enclosing, pushing the pain down, trapping it OR by expanding into the outer world, making new connections, creating. The latter option, even though clearly healthier, is much more difficult, especially for someone who has already been discouraged in life.

As for the family from my father’s side, their lives couldn’t have been easy either. War, poverty, a society where women have completely depended on their men who often were troubled by alcohol dependence and emotional issues. These are all my estimates and guesses; I don’t feel healed enough to have open conversations with my parents, this proves to be the very hardest task.

Having looked into the concepts that haven’t been transferred, I can name one that has; Trauma. I find it very difficult to communicate, be open and vulnerable with my parents (especially my mother), and looking them in the eye is mission impossible, and for most of my adult life – until I started reading up on trauma and how it impacts relationships – I couldn’t understand why that is.

When I started my healing journey more than 5 years ago, one of the first significant changes I made was going vegan. After being in an emotionally abusive relationship for about a decade and seeing no way out, I needed to start my self-love journey somewhere. I wanted to do something good for myself. And lead by various documentaries, social media posts and articles, I decided that going vegan was something that would make me feel healthier in my body as well as help me lead a more authentic life by actively reducing the cruelty and pain in the world. So I went from omnivore to a complete vegan overnight. This month I am celebrating my 5th Veganversary and am so grateful to be much healthier in body and soul. I also – almost accidentally – proved to myself that I can be consistent in a positive action that relates to my body; up to that point I normally used my stubbornness to reach academic or other goals.

When I started my vegan lifestyle, I didn’t realise or consider how it will set me apart from my birth family. We live in different countries and see each other once or twice a year. My wellness journey has never been forced, I played and experimented with things, over the years stopping eating wheat, then sugar, coffee and black tea, getting rid of excess possessions and leaning towards minimalism, curating my social media feed towards spirituality and body positivity, equipping myself with tons of knowledge about trauma and healing, this year implementing regular breathwork and somatic exercise practices… Those tiny little changes have unexpectedly amounted to a whole new lifestyle and mindset and each time I go back home to see my family, the contrast startles me more and more. I sometimes feel that they pity me for “depriving” myself of a nice fragrant piece of barbeque or some ice cream, while I am piling lentils into my bowl or that they judge me for other life choices. While my relationships with my family members certainly became more surface level over the years, my feeling of becoming more authentic grew. I made peace with being a black sheep but also reduced my urge to please as well as influence and control people and force on them the changes that make my life more positive as I now know that people can only change when they are ready and not a moment earlier, and also that what works for one person may not work for another. I have to mention my father as an exception here: while I feel he wasn’t strong enough to fight for his true happiness and sacrificed it for a surface level peace – or maybe it’s because of it – he always supports me in my choices. It was him who made it financially possible for me to train as a breathwork facilitator and I feel that reaching for my true authentic life and following my purpose is also honouring him. We may not often succeed in having deep conversations but I somehow know that we are on the same page nevertheless.

The controversy and perhaps even trauma related to food is present in my and my son’s relationship too. He was 4 when I became vegan. From then on, I stopped cooking meat for him. He would still eat meat with his father, at school, with his childminder and in other social environments so that wasn’t an extreme change in his diet. However, perhaps being a boy and wanting to be “like his dad”, who was eating excessive amounts of meat, my son started refusing most of the foods that I prepared for us. Any soups, stews, curries were left untouched even without tasting. That angered and scared me but perhaps more significantly than that, I felt rejected and “faulty” as a mother. There is a lingering feeling that if you reject someone’s food, you reject the person themselves, and that was how I felt. Useless. For a while, I fumed, demanded that he eats some of my food but over time I relaxed, served him fruit, veg, simple sandwiches, oat or buckwheat porridge at the times we spent together and allowed him to peacefully enjoy his father’s (he is a professional chef of more than 20 years), childminder’s amazing cooking, school meals and occasional outing at a cafe or a restaurant. Food has ceased to be a battlefield and my son now even occasionally eats my cooking and declares that “It is not so bad..”. I also make sure that we spend time in the kitchen together sometimes and cook. Now, at 9 years old, he is able to make some simple foods and his knife skills are excellent as over the years he has cut up tonnes of veg for my stews! He is also food-adventurous and enjoys eating both Lithuanian and Sri Lankan cuisines when visiting relatives in both of the countries.

I want to believe that by journeying on my own healing path as well as learning how to be a good-enough parent, I am also healing the generational trauma. I hope that we are not only being nourished by the food itself but also being pervaded by tolerance, compassion, acceptance, surrender, joy of discovery, unearthing of our own powers and abilities and the miracle of our bodies. Speaking of my own body, is is older now than it ever has been but for the first time in my life I feel genuine love for it. It is no longer a costume or a suit whose only purpose is to impress others (it never lived up to it..); it is a home, a faithful companion that carries me wherever I want to go and a dutiful servant that completes countless daily tasks for me. It makes me able to see the beauty of the world, to read, to learn, to speak my mind and express my love and – when needed – my boundaries. It literally made my son! I no longer – well, almost never, I am still learning – demean my body for being of a wrong shape or size, for having any features that don’t comply with the “social standard” and for the first time in my life I thank it daily and marvel at the perfection of its intricacy. And I feed it the best I can, with whole vegan foods as well as with love, care, compassion, consideration, boundaries, movement, breath and hundreds of other ingredients that make this life worth living.

Our beautiful author has asked to remain anonymous, but this is someone’s real story, so please do not reproduce as you cannot attribute the story to them. If you would like to leave a comment below they will see it. If you’d like to contact them, please use the contact form here on the website and I will pass your details on, leaving the choice of contact up to them.

Thank you for your understanding, it is important to me that Beyond the Breath Magazine is an inclusive space, and that includes supporting our authors as they explore their voice and their vulnerabilities. Sometimes that means publishing anonymously.

In Breathwork Reflections

The graceful exit.

01/11/2024 No Comments

I published this anonymously in 2020, I’m now able to share this as myself.

Today I have spent the day working out how to gracefully exit this life. No food or drink has passed my lips. I know that starvation is a long and drawn-out way to exit, so that is not my graceful plan, it’s just that my throat feels closed and my breath is shallow and often held at the bottom of the exhale, as if I am willing myself to not take the next breath.

And in this disconnected state, I joined my breathwork facilitator training (camera off) as scheduled this evening, not because I wanted to, but because there was a guest speaker I admire greatly. I’m not going to mention his name, because I am probably misquoting him below and that wouldn’t be a fair reflection on him. It’s just that he spoke to my heart. Or maybe in oneness he really did tune in and speak my heart. But of course, I heard what I needed to hear, not necessarily what he said and in my fragile state they could be two very different things, so again anonymity is best!

I have wondered for some time about the concept of ‘doing the work’ and expecting to see the benefits in the map of your life. Work for reward. I suppose it feeds into my mother wound of ‘you don’t get anything without hard work’ ‘worthiness (and love) come from good behaviour’ ‘doing it right’ ‘following the rules’ ‘doing the work’, and yet, I have struggled through the weeds and the brambles of doing the right thing, many times, and the rewards appear limited and the struggle endless. The work to reward ratio unfair.

Deeper than that thought of fairness, the concept itself does not feel right. Work for Reward. From a human perspective if I have it, whatever it is, my daughter is welcome to it … all. So why is ‘the universal law’ so different?

On reflection, it feels exactly like the edge I was on when I walked away from a very indoctrinated and fully lived experience of born-again religion, the deep knowing that it wasn’t right as I saw the bible through the eyes of hierarchy, of patriarchy, of the suppression of humanness. The control – like scales removed from my eyes. But at the same time, I miss the certainty. In the beginning was the word.

Inside I am screaming, please help me, I do not want to throw the ‘spiritual’ baby out with the bathwater, again. There must be a way!

My recent inner guidance, whenever I listen, is simply to trust. Thus the ‘doing’, where I am most comfortable is at an all-time low. Self-work/exploration forms a good proportion of what I do with my days and whilst the big picture dream of my path feels so real to me that I could indeed be in the mystery of pregnancy, creating that dream, it is not possible to financially birth this sizable dream from my current activity. Then in other corners of life where that funding might have come forth, the recent twists and turns render my immediate landscape not only barren but dangerous.

I suppose this could be another wandering the desert moment, this time crying out ‘Gaia, Gaia, why have you forsaken me?’ another open wound, ‘trust of the hierarchy’ ‘greater good’ ‘truth’ but there is a wrongness there too. If wholeness is my intention, then that includes the age of Pisces, and patriarchy and control. That includes work for rewards, service for reward, lack and drought and death. But it also includes receiving and nectar and sweetness and plentiful abundance. How long is the winter? Is summer only on offer if you follow the rules? Where is the point of integrity?

With this unarticulated story resting in my body I listened, or rather I heard these 4 points of wisdom from the guest speaker.

“You can only hold space for people to the depths you are prepared to go in your own grief. As you do the work within yourself, by witnessing and allowing the grace and wisdom of the body to release the armour and then the trauma, you become able and silently transmit that ability to those who are drawn to you. And then as you continue to hear your body speaking, are you prepared to witness, to observe and inquire but not fix – yourself? To allow the wisdom of your body, our ancient ways to do that work for you. Even to leave the armour in place until it is body wise to remove it for healing and witnessing in a graceful way?”

“Can you be humble enough to have the wisdom of an elder, and perhaps not achieve results because the time is not right for you, for your client? Or can you serve greatly with incredible results without recognition? Maybe even without thanks? And should you need these things, can you simply notice that this is self-work you need to address at some point, with grace?”

“Can you be so human, so extremely human in your existence, that you are divine?”

“The white man’s way of ceremony [with plant medicine] is to use it for a result, a goal, or intention, even if that goal is simply an experience. The primary ceremony is life. Can you live life as a sacred ceremony, as opposed to practicing ceremony for a while?”

Can I live life as a ceremony?

Wanting to the leave this world is not a new thing for me, I won’t say it’s a daily battle, but it is ever present. As is the drive or knowing that there is more to life than I am currently experiencing. What is new though is the knowledge that I can no longer go back. I can’t return to the society or parental prescribed normal as I have previously done. Pushing my exploration of spirituality until I break it, then jumping back into the world of traditional work until I become so dissatisfied and shrivelled inside that I explore my spirituality again, and on the circle goes. My ex-husband once asked me when would I be satisfied with my good enough career, my nice enough house, golf on Sunday and gardeners world on Friday? I ask myself the same. Why is that not enough? Why was that never enough? What is driving this inner search?

My partner now has dreams that are even bigger than mine, I sometimes think we facilitate each other in the ‘opportunity and potential’ to make a difference and live a huge life madness and that at some point, one of us needs to be sensible and ‘do the right thing’. Then as I shrink inside again, and I go back to searching for the graceful exit. It’s not financial or material (although that is included), it’s path and purpose and impact.

The last time I seriously researched taking my life, I convinced myself that I stopped because of my daughter, because of the trauma she would feel, but her beautiful heart cannot be my anchor. My own connection to my life force must be strong enough to want to stay. But really, is my disconnected self brave enough to act? And in that space, there is honesty, a rawness and a choice.

So, this time as the wheel turns again … Can I be so very human that I become divine? Can I live life itself as if it were a ceremony? In that ceremony, can I find balance and integrity between surviving, thriving and a path of impact and service? Can I choose to stay in the centred space in the middle of the chaos where there is innate peace, free from the tether of outcome?

The journey with this continues. The inner wound that encourages me to leave is quieter, but I suspect will always be there. I recently revisited my Soul Plan and was reminded about my worldly challenge and my spiritual talent, both the same energy, the two sides of the same coin. You can pop over to my website to learn more about the Soul Plan, suffice to say, all the above questions stem in part from that energetic inquiry of my soul, the question and the answer both contained within. The outcome, a continued journey, not an exit or a destination.

PS – I’ve used my own image in this post. Somehow it didn’t feel right to sit behind anything less personal xx

Sharyn-With-A-Why

To find out more about Sharyn, take a look at her profile in Practitioners Corner

In Breath and Emotions

Vulnerability

01/11/2024 1 Comment

As I sat down to write a different blogpost, I found myself frequently circling back to the theme of vulnerability. Curious about its nuances, I decided to explore synonyms for this and was surprised to find that vulnerability had only negative connotations. These included: In danger, attackable, defenseless, unsafe, exposed, wide open, helpless, at risk.

Whilst it’s undeniable that vulnerability can entail some of these elements, vulnerability also looks like strength, bravery, resilience. It looks like diving into the shadow sides of ourselves, regardless of fear or apprehension of what we might find. It looks like summoning courage and boldness.
The times I have admired someone the most, is when they have put their rawest, most vulnerable parts of themselves out there. I’ve found that my deepest and most meaningful connections or conversations with others have often stemmed from moments of shared vulnerability, leaving me feeling lighter and grateful for the exchange.

A time that I felt very vulnerable was when I decided to start going to grief support groups. Sharing how I felt – which was something I never used to do – with total strangers felt alien and scary and like the most horribly vulnerable thing in the whole world, but I was met with smiles, kindness, and people telling me they had experienced similar thoughts/feelings. This big step into vulnerability allowed me to face grief more face-on in my own life and showed me that, as scary as it is, I am able to open up and talk about what was going on for me.

Embarking on my journey to become a breathwork facilitator also stirred up feelings of vulnerability within me. It’s a declaration of my passion and commitment to something I deeply love, something I want to share with the world. Yet, in doing so, I’m laying myself bare to the possibility of criticism or rejection. It’s a daunting prospect, opening myself up to the potential for people to dismiss or disapprove of what I’m doing. But amidst the apprehension, there was always an undeniable excitement within me. I was stepping into a realm where others will resonate with and embrace my offerings, where they may enjoy attending my sessions and find value in what I have to offer. The prospect of connecting with like-minded souls, of witnessing transformations, is equally exciting as it is nerve-wracking.

So yes, diving into this new chapter of my life is a rollercoaster of emotions—exciting, nerve-wracking, and everything in between. But ultimately, it’s a leap of faith fueled by passion and a desire to share something meaningful with others. And for that, I’m ready to embrace the journey, uncertainties and all.

The times I have been witness to someone being vulnerable, I have seen it met with love, kindness, compassion, understanding, and often times it allows others to feel able to open up and share too. Of course, I am very privileged to have access to wonderful supportive people and spaces. I understand that this is not the case for everyone. There is a time and a place for vulnerability.

As a breathwork facilitator, vulnerability represents something a little bit different. Holding space for others means that you do need to be strong, regulated, and have capacity to hold other people. This is not our time for sharing, it is our time to hold space, and to listen. A great piece of advice I heard was that as facilitators we must be teaching from our scars not our wounds. Having that emotional distance between yourself and what you’re discussing. As the facilitator, the breathwork circle is not your place to offload and share, but to be there to hold the space for others.

Holding space for others requires strength, yes, but it also demands emotional resilience and a mindful approach. There’s a delicate balance between offering support and maintaining boundaries. As facilitators, we’re tasked with guiding others on their journey. It’s about creating a safe space for exploration and growth, without overshadowing the experiences of others.

So, here’s to embracing vulnerability—both as individuals and as facilitators. It can be messy, it can be uncomfortable, but the benefits can be huge. After all, it’s through vulnerability that we truly connect, heal, and thrive.

Lottie Hall. Breathwork with Lottie.

To find out more about Lottie, take a look at her profile in Practitioners Corner

In Breath and the Body

“The cold is a noble force” – Wim Hof

31/10/2024 1 Comment

The above statement is a good one, and one which I had completely disregarded, precisely for the reason the cold, and being cold, was uncomfortable and took massive effort to experience. Not only was being cold miserable, but the journey to being cold was just as bad, because you knew what was going to be happening.

Of course, the whole point is not really about the cold, but about the mindset in facing the cold. The cold strips you bare of any pretension and is as fundamental along with breathing an experience as you will ever have.

In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, warmth falls within the base of his pyramid of basic needs, along with food, water and rest. To survive we need warmth, arguably to live, you need the cold.
Because the cold is so fundamental, it encourages us to think in a more simplified form and makes us look at ourselves and what we can withstand.

We can withstand considerably more than we think.

I am of the opinion early humans and their tribes all came from Africa and then spread themselves through millennia around the globe. I find it interesting some tribes stayed in sunnier climes, whilst others took their exploration to the considerably colder climates of the Arctic circle, and not only survived, but thrived as they adapted readily to the conditions. The Inuits and the Swaami from Greenland, Alaska and Finland all set up their roots in hostile environmental conditions. What was the mindset which made them do such a thing? I suppose for them, it was a very simple choice, to live or die. Here is our old friend the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), fight or flight…or freeze.

I am beginning to think more of these things, because my cold exposure adventures are becoming bolder.
I have spoken in a previous blog about a black cloud of melancholia which wrapped me in its warm and suffocating embrace a little over a year ago. It was a depression I just could not shake and arguably was the worst I had ever suffered in the previously short episodes I had experienced previously in my life. I have been very lucky in that respect. There were two fundamental elements which pulled me out of that ever so slightly seductive hug. Breath work and cold exposure.

One man in particular to help, was of course, Wim Hof. Not personally, I have never met him.
This is not an exclamation about the crazy Dutch dude, as much as I do think he has extraordinary charisma and energy, no, this is about how breathing and specifically on this occasion the cold exposure has meant I have been able to keep depression at bay.

I have just realised as I am searching my head for euphemisms for depression that I have a physical living, although currently snoozing, black dog lying near my feet as I type. Chewie is the antithesis of depression, and wind permitting, always comes for a morning swim when I go to the sea. We both don’t like big waves; I am neither a surfer or a strong swimmer and Chewie’s heyday of competing in the dog surfing championships in Cornwall are behind her. She still polishes her board every now and again though.

A third of the Wim Hof method (WHM), is the cold, and his way of introduction to this is quite simple, as all good things should be, and involves introducing yourself to a cold shower bit by bit. Have your normal shower, then turn the tap to cold and gradually introduce your body to the cold water limb by limb. Then ensure you have 5 seconds full immersion on day 1. Day 2 it is 10 seconds, day 3, 15 seconds and so on. After a month you will be averaging 2.5 minutes of cold exposure with every shower.

Naturally enough, I ignored most of that and had my normal shower and started at the 2-minute mark under the cold shower. And sweet baby cheeses, it was cold.

I do breathing exercises to help regulate my heart rate and try to let the relaxing parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), take over from the fight or flight sympathetic nervous system. I do not do the Wim Hof breathing, for me, this runs counter to my natural rhythms and is too much of a stressor for my taste, as I am also fighting the urge to get out of the shower or sea. I use a 3-5-7 count. Breathe in for the count of 3, hold for 5 and exhale for 7. The hold and the exhalation are key, as they regulate your heart rate and stimulates your Parasympathetic Nervous System. I have found breathing in and tensing on the hold and the out breath, induce a double whammy state of calm and warmth. Especially good during the winter.

After the initial urge to flee, especially when I turn round and the cold surge hits the base of my neck, I am able to relax and enjoy the experience. This of course may not happen immediately, however, your body will build up a tolerance and your mindset will change within a few short days.

I know, I know, it’s all well and good doing this sort of thing but the benefits have to outweigh the negatives. Of course they do, I am not a masochist, this is about good health and taking control of it. I can only really speak for myself, but you will find countless accounts online of like-minded people. At the end of every cold shower, and I have one every time I have a shower, unless I have been sea swimming, in which case I do not. Double cold exposure, not for me. That is a tinge of masochism just below the surface.

For those who have not read any of my previous blogs, I am slightly prone to digression. Rather than just sigh with exasperation, view it as a patience builder and just think what sort of digression actually goes on in my brain which I have to deal with on a daily basis. After the cold exposure, you feel cold, naturally, you also feel alive and invigorated. Why is this, I hear you ask?

It is because your vascular system has expanded. Your brain has sent signals throughout your central nervous system for your body to be on high alert as what is happening is not normal. The vascular system goes into overdrive and starts expanding your arteries and veins to allow more blood to flow through filling your body with extra oxygen from the haemoglobin within your blood. This tasty bit of adventure increases your metabolism, which helps to boost your body and particularly your immune system. And man-oh-man, it makes your skin feel magnificent, which if you do this on a regular basis, actually stays that way.
This increased internal activity carries on after you have gotten out of the shower and are towelling yourself down and continues for a while afterwards.

All this for just 2/2.5 minutes in a cold shower.

This upsurge in metabolism helps to stimulate the chemicals in your brain, releasing all the good ‘ins, endorphins, seratonins and oxytocins. Over time these hale and hearty chemical fellows dampen the spirit of the cortisol of toxic stress and relieve the tensions in your mind and body, thus helping the black dog, sorry Chewie, of depression reduce.

Of course, I would hate for you to feel as though simple cold showers or cold exposure was the panacea to the world’s issues with mental health and depression. It is not. Depression comes in all shapes and sizes and there is not a one size fits all approach. Each case must be taken on their own merits. I would absolutely say though, cold exposure, helps with the body’s homeostasis, it’s balance and it has helped me and hundreds of thousands of people around the world.

Goodness, I realised I have just written over 1200 words and have not really got to the crux of what prompted me to write this in the first place. If you have got this far, A, well done and B, it won’t be long, just go and stick your hand or face in a bucket of ice, that will pep you up.

Open water swimming. If you can do it, absolutely bloody do it.

I have lived most of my life near the sea, again as mentioned in a previous blog, I have to be near a large body of water, no matter what standard of swimmer I am. I guess it might be a tidal thing, who knows. I just know I love it. So, it really begs the question what was stopping me going into the water on a regular basis? Well, I live close to the English Channel, next stop is France and no matter what time of year it is, it is crunchingly cold. As with the first paragraph, just the journey in can be tortuous. If you can imagine a man with every step shivering and cursing and waiting for the wave to hit his scrotum, for his nuts to shrink and feel numb and then move to his warmer upper chest and be just bloody miserable…that was me. Again though, precisely the same as the cold showers your body adapts. Does it stop you from shuddering, take several uncontrollable breaths and wondering what the fuckity fuck you are doing? No, it does not, especially with a chill winters north easterly wind blowing in.

But here is why the cold is a noble force because it shows you what your mind and body can do. And if I can change from being that shrivelled, goose bumped, shilly-shallying, wide eyed with terror, just wanting a warm towel, some mittens, a big furry hat, a big cup of hot chocolate and probably his Mummy of a man, then anyone can. I am here folks, at the reason for writing. My new and my bolder experience.

I received a present from my wife over the 2021 festive season of a voucher for a relatively new business not far from where we live. It was a voucher for a session of Cryotherapy. I had to look it up also.

Cryotherapy is a process used by people to increase their metabolism and get their body to heal quicker. For example, athletes will always use an ice bath to speed up the recovery process. The principle is the same, except quicker. Of course, this does not have to be strictly for athletes. This is for everyone. When I attended, there was a gentleman attending daily sessions to help with his psoriasis. The owner of the business showed me the before and during pictures. The cold exposure has helped boost the client’s immune system and is helping renew his skin. The psoriasis has nearly disappeared and above all, the client states there is no itching, which obviously exacerbates the inflammation on the skin.

Whether this treatment is to be used to aid inflammation, reset the chemicals in your mind to help stave off anxiety or stress, improve pain relief and healing of the muscles, helping with the symptoms of eczema or treating migraines, cryotherapy deals with the same cold exposure as cold showers and open water swimming. The only difference being this is colder…..much colder.

I went to a place a short bike ride away in Brighton & Hove called CryoBright. It is a family-owned business and have only been officially open for 8 months. The pandemic annoyingly having a good laugh at their expense for much of the past 2 years. The owners Rob & Shelly were brilliant with me from start to finish. I was made to feel most welcome, you think, surely that’s normal, alas, not always, so it is always a great surprise when it happens. As an opening offer, they said I could have two complementary treatments, a leg compression and also CryoFace, a mask which you hold to your face and the cold air begins to work its magic. Before all of this, I had filled out a questionnaire asking various questions of any ill health I may have which might hinder the process. I was then asked to take my blood pressure and here was the sticky point for me. I suffer from white coat syndrome. Some people feel this is a made-up syndrome because, well, it sounds like one, but it is very real. What this means is, whenever I go to the doctors, or it seems anywhere that resembles anything to do with my health, my blood pressure goes through the roof. This is not a good thing.

I had had a crappy morning before I went and I cycled to the location, so my blood was pumping quite reasonably. Also, I found out afterwards your BP spikes around mid-day. My appointment was at 12.30. Reasons for a high reading. Your blood pressure is taken as a precaution. There are parameters in which you must fall into naturally enough. As the cryo chamber acts as a vasodilator, which means the cold tells your brain to open up your arteries and veins, so more blood can get through to circulate around your body to keep you warm, explained in more detail above. If your BP is already high, this could have a negative effect on your body and you may faint, or even worse have a stroke. This is why it is so important to check your BP and know your body. Whatever we tried, my BP would not come down sufficiently. We did the leg compression, which I liked a lot for 20 mins, with me doing some relaxation breathing exercises, we did the CryoFace, which made my skin feel incredible, although supremely cold around my eye sockets and the BP still wouldn’t go down.

Not only was I massively disappointed, but I was really concerned about my BP. I mean, for goodness sake, I meditate, eat very well, hardly drink, exercise, do cold exposure, and regulate my breathing. All the things I teach people. And there was my BP as high as a kite. This story is not about my BP, suffice to say, when I got home, I blood pressured myself with my little machine for the rest of the day and the evening. I must have taken my BP ten times, every single one was in the green zone and averaging in the 120s for my systolic and 70s, early 80s for my diastolic. Another digression. Years ago, I developed high BP because I was not eating great food and not exercising enough. I was advised by the doctor to go on a pill, after all, thousands do. However, if I was in a cowboy film, I would be called a ‘cussed son of a bitch’, and I said I would change it myself. I gave myself a month and went on a diet, changed the way I ate and exercised more. At the end of the month, I had to have a BP monitor attached to me for 24 hours, which took my BP every 20 minutes or so. My BP was only over the limit twice, when I picked the machine up from the doctors and when I took it back. Since then I have always been cognisant of my BP and done everything I can to keep it in acceptable limits, exercising etc notwithstanding. I do not want to take pills unless I have to. This public health warning has been brought to you today, by cussed son of a bitch productions for all your cussed needs. Back to CryoBright.

I made another appointment with CryoBright for the next day at half ten. Rob & Shelly were really accommodating. My BP was taken again, it was still high, but closer to the cut off points. We took it a second time and, on this occasion, I remembered your arm had to be supported. I mentioned this to Shelly, who brought some towels for me to rest my arm on. Bingo, huzzah, this seemed to do the trick, I came into the taking part zone. This meant, I was now to get into a chamber which was going to achieve a coldness of -85 degrees Celsius for 4 minutes, wearing a pair of shorts, gloves, socks and small booties and a head band which protected my ears. It had been explained to me beforehand that as the chamber was a dry cold, our bodies could withstand considerably more. Unlike if we were in the open and exposed to water, ice or wind. Rob took various different temperatures around my body for a before and after comparison and then asked what sort of music I required to listen to in there. The question flummoxed me, so I said anything generically relaxing. It was only 4 minutes after all. Rob said he will tell me when 2 minutes had elapsed, one minute, then 20 seconds. And then I was in, excited and intrigued.

Instead of standing there waiting as though for a bus, I did a horse stance and started to move my arms around, knowing this would get my heart pumping the blood around the body. It was interesting to see icicles forming on my arm, chest and leg hairs. I was also wearing a mask to reduce the breath freezing.
The two minutes went by really quickly and I could really sense my skin and extremities getting colder. I also noticed the top of my baldy head was beginning to brain freeze me. It was like cycling down a hill in the middle of winter without a seasonal bike hat underneath your helmet and your helmet channelling the cold air onto various points on your head. Too cold for words. The four minutes were soon up and I was standing outside the chamber with a massive smile on my face and an enormous amount of energy and the icicles melting on my hairy bits. Rob took temperatures of my body and naturally enough, my head, arms and legs had reduced in temperature. My core temperature on the other hand, only reduced marginally. What was also odd, was I began to feel the blood warming my hands and feet as I stood chatting. Weird, but curiously lovely. I felt fucking fantastic. If you have access to CryoTherapy near you check it out. There is an expense, naturally enough, but it does do wonders for your mind and your body and is quicker and less hassle than going to the beach of a morning. If you are out and about doing some shopping, you can pop in beforehand, the rest of the day will pass by in a delight. I had a damned decent night’s sleep that night as an added bonus.

You have to give cold exposure a little time to take effect. View the longer game, whether you use cold showers, ice baths, open water swimming/dipping or a -85 degree chamber, view the initial discomfort as just a means to an end. I have spoken to many people online or in person, have viewed the many people who have followed Wim Hof, shared a live online ice bath with him, and I have yet to come across anyone who has not benefitted from cold exposure in one form or another. As I said above, if I can do it, and get used to it, there is no reason why you cannot also. I also walk into the sea with a greater degree of bravery these days.

I would be really happy to hear anyone’s thoughts, experiences about the subject. Please leave a comment under the blog. Thank you for reading and I wish you some great cold experiences.

Tim Johnson is fine and dandy, thank you

To find out more about Tim, take a look at his profile in Practitioners Corner